I want to do something radical for Christ. As I sit here post-graduation, my mind keeps wandering to what the most radical thing I can do for Christ can be.
I've always wanted to do something radical for Christ. In my early years of college, I was set on serving with the Culture Project in Australia so I could "hangout with the kangaroos," and serve Christ in a foreign mission. I thought about going on a mission in Africa to serve, giving away all of the money in my bank account to give to the poor (not even taking into account that right now, I am the poor, haha), or going to some remote place in no man’s land so that God’s love will be made known to me. My heart is filled with so many desires. But, as I sift through these desires, I realize that all I really want can be summed up in this poem:
These are good and holy desires. I want to serve; I want to make Christ known and loved. However, I realize that the desires must stem from a desire of Jesus Himself to allow Him to make His home in me, and trusting that all the while, He will continue to shape and form my desires into what He wants them to be. He will bring me where He needs and wants me to be.
As for doing something radical for Christ, maybe the most radical thing that God wants from me right now is to just be with Him, let Him make His home in me (as always), and continue letting Him radically change me, growing my ever-longing heart to His own heart of mercy, love, gentleness, tenderness, and the gift that comes from freedom in knowing and loving Him.
I need to recognize that the most radical thing that I can let Christ do for me right now is to let Him change me, to let Him in, and to have His way.
That’s not to say that God won’t send me on my mission and fulfill the desires of my heart. They may look different than I originally thought (I don’t actually desire to go to Africa or Australia, for that matter). In fact, the real desires of my heart are somewhat scarier than those and require complete and total honesty with the Lord, as well as my deep surrender. As St. Therese reminds us, “The good God would not inspire unattainable desires; I can, then, in spite of my littleness, aspire to sanctity,” even if it may look different than I originally anticipated. My longing, my deepest longing, is to let God make His home in me, then to let His goodness and His mercy move and accomplish even the smallest desires and longings in my heart in a way that only He can fulfill.
Jesus, I trust in you. Please keep making your holy home in me.
©TheYoungCatholicWoman
